Caring for yourself

Catherine B

I offer hand massage to parents and family at my local childrens hospice. It is so important for them to have even less than ten minutes where they can relax completely and experience receiving care, in the daily, endless routine of care giving. They do not see it as a dutiful drudgery, there is a lot of fun and laughter….BUT. What I notice, almost without exception when I take their hands in mine, is how rough these caring hands are. Total unstinting care for the child ( and the rest of the family) but none for their own hands. The hands that touch their children every day. Less than a minute, incorporated into their day as a regular habit, built from once to maybe whenever the impulse to cream is felt, and those caring hands become silky soft. Self care, while promoted as beneficial  as self development, is sometimes seen as selfish by individuals. What is selfish about making your hands soft and gentle for those you touch. And so self care can begin. With the small things. A bunch of flowers, a dab of perfume, a tube of hand cream.